Here we go, I am brand new and this maybe long, but I feel the need :)

Here we go.  I am a 36 (too soon to be 37) year old woman.  I am 5’8, and when I began this program on February 16, I weighed 312 lbs.  I am a stay-at-home mom with and EXTREMELY active 2 year old boy.  And now I am starting to get that itch.  That “I really want another baby” itch!  Miraculously, my first pregnancy was textbook perfect.  I was healthy, even though I went into it overweight, and the baby was born healthy and perfect.  Now, however, I don’t feel getting pregnant at this weight is an option.

I hardly have the energy it takes to chase my two year old.  I think I am already being terribly unfair to him as it is, since I don’t feel I am doing enough for him (because of weight, no energy!).  To further limit myself, and further limit my ability to be the type of mom I want to be, is unacceptable.  I want to be healthy enough to carry and give birth to another baby, and also healthy enough to still properly care for my current baby (except the normal pregnancy limitations, I’m not super woman!). 

This has been coming on for awhile now.  I see other moms do things with their little ones, things I know I can’t do because I am too heavy, and I hate that.  My son and my husband are my life, and it bothers me that I can’t take care of them and of myself the way I feel like I should.  Not that my husband would ever complain.  A word must be said about DH, he is the most loving, supportive person in the world!  He thinks I’m a great mom, and in many ways maybe I am.  I could not give my son more love or attention.  That is already lavished upon him daily.  But I want to give him long walks, chasing him and playing with him at the park, without having to stop and catch my breath every few minutes.  I want to be able to fit in the rides at Disney world easily (not to mention airplane seats!!).  I want to be able to go on bike rides

and camping trips and visits to the zoo, with lots of walking and me NOT complaining J

My DH has tried to incentivize me by offering me spa treatments for goals reached.  He knows how much I LOVE a good pedicure or massage!  I have decided that my first goal is 15 lbs.  That seemed reasonable to me.  Might reduce them to 10 lb goals later, cuz we all know the weight loss will slow down a bit.  So, in 15 lbs, I get to have the ultimate pedicure at my favorite spa J  Total pampering and luxury (and it doesn’t center around food!).  

I have set some personal goals for myself, too.  We are going to San Antonio, TX to visit some family in mid-April.  My goal isn’t a scale goal, but a feeling one.  My goal is to fit better into my plane seat!  I have never had to buy two seats, and I don’t encroach on my neighbor.   Fortunately my fat is well-contained and I can fit in the seat belt without an extender (But OH is it Uncomfortable!!!).  So, for this next flight, I would just like to be able to sit in my plane seat (next to son and husband) and just feel comfortable.  That would be amazing!

I haven’t told anyone what I am doing.  Other than my wonderfully supportive DH that is J.  I bring the food home in Safeway green cloth bags so that my neighbors don’t see.  I am not ashamed of doing DTG, not at all.  I just get really anxious when I feel like people are watching me and expecting something of me.  I am afraid I will fail and they will ridicule me (completely in my own mind, btw, my neighbors and friends are absolutely wonderful and would totally support me).  So, I am going to keep it to myself for awhile.  I have an idea of when I might start telling, but we’ll see.  Baby steps, right?

However, I need more than my hubby to hold me accountable.  (cuz he is just TOO sweet).  I need to be able to report my progress and ask questions and get suggestions from you guys about what I might be doing wrong some week if the weight stopped coming off, and to encourage to keep going if I hit a plateau.

Whew.  Okay, normally don’t talk that much,  but since the only person I have to talk to for most of the days says things like “Dump Truck , mommy!!!  Dump truck go HOOONNNKK!!!”, I get a little excited to talk to grown ups.

Now for the  Stats:

Wk 1         312

Wk2         305

Wk3         302

 I will be reporting in next Tuesday!    I know this was long, and I’m sorry. I promise I won't be so next time.  If I just can't resist the wordage, though, I will start a blog or something.  I appreciate the attention, though.   I will also be lurking around these boards.  Interesting stuff, interesting people! Thanks.